Poem

Poetic talent is surprisingly easy to fake

If one does not reason nor bother to make

The choice of words daren't need make sense

If thy ramble enough relevant pretence

Just ensure, for sure, to always rhyme

Thy only need to couple each pair of line

But throwin' in a triplet is probably fine

Always use thou, thee and thy

Thy make thee sound smart like thou Shakespeare guy! 

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Don't worry that much about flow

Just make each line the same length as the line below

It's pretty easy!

If you run out of words, just say something cheesy

Like a metaphor, or other analogy

And hope it works like alchemy

Yeah you get it, I'm sure you catch my drift

Oh, look an analogy, I'm so good at this

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Iambic pentameter is a myth

A ploy created by poets in an attempt to get rich

Don't worry about syllable permutation 

Just throw 'em together with no hesitation

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Not like a haiku

They're pretty dumb- designed for

Incompetent scum

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Probably created by the Illuminati 

In a desperate attempt to crash your poetry party

Throw in vague philosophy so you sound hashtag deep

Like "If Jesus is a shepherd, are clouds the spirits of sheep?"

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Now I've taught you the basics it's time for lesson two 

Although I'm pretty busy, go join the back of the queue

Actually, I'm going to go get some food

and I can't think of a nice way to conclude

So I'll see you in hell, not a chance of repentance

For now I'll just end here halfway through a